The Accidental Minecraft Family: Book 13 Read online

  The Accidental Minecraft Family

  Book 13

  By: Pixel Ate

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner without the express written permission of the author.

  Copywrite © 2020 Pixel Ate. All rights reserved.

  Follow us at www.Accidental MinecraftFamily.com

  Or our Facebook group- Pixel Ate Books.

  Disclaimer: This book is a work of fanfiction; it is not an official Minecraft book. It is not endorsed, authorized, licensed, sponsored, or supported by Mojang AB, Microsoft Corp. or any other entity owning or controlling rights to the Minecraft name, trademarks or copyrights.

  Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2020 Mojang / Microsoft

  Chapter 1

  “A spyglass? What the heck? I’ve never heard of that in Minecraft before,” Jack said. “How do you make it?”

  “You need two copper ingots and an amethyst shard,” Mom said, and shook her head. “I don’t think I've heard of those ingredients before, either.”

  “We could have just missed it,” Dad said. “It isn’t like we’re experts here. We don’t know everything the game has in it.”

  “I don’t know,” Kate said. “We’ve played enough that we would have at least seen it before.” Jack nodded in agreement.

  “Well.” Dad shrugged his shoulders. “Guess we just have to chalk it up to another one of those weird changes that keep happening. At least a spyglass seems harmless.”

  Jack's mouth dropped open and he froze in place.

  “Jack? Jack! Are you okay?” Mom put the back of her hand on his forehead. “You don’t feel warm. Do you have gas? Do you need to poop?”

  Jack made a face at her and pulled away. “No, Mom, I don’t need to poop. Nobody poops in Minecraft, remember?”

  “What’s poop?” Judah asked.

  “Is it food?” one of the other vindicators asked as they surrounded Jack and Mom, looking curious. And hungry.

  “Is it good?” someone else asked.

  “It has to be better than vegetables!” another shout came.

  Dad and Kate burst out laughing. Dad clutched at his stomach, barely able to breathe and actually had to sit down, he was laughing so hard.

  Jack waved his hands in the air at all the vindicators. “Nevermind about poop! It’s not food... well, I mean, it kind of is, er, was. But...” He shook his head. “No, nevermind. It's gross! Don’t worry about it.” He huffed out a breath and looked at his mom. “I’m not sick, I just realized something. Either this world is more different from Minecraft than we thought, or... maybe there was an update!”

  Dad stood, catching his breath. “An update? What do you mean?”

  “When the company that makes the game puts in new stuff, it's called an update,” Jack said. “Sometimes its new mobs or animals or recipes! It could even be new biomes.”

  “Yeah!” Kate said. “We haven't played long enough to go through one yet.”

  Dad eyed the area around them as if it might suddenly morph into something else.

  Mom raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say you’ve played for over a hundred hours?” She shook her head. “Way too long if you ask me. Think of all the books you could have read. Probably like 13!”

  Kate rolled her eyes. “No, Mom, that’s not what I mean. The updates only come out once a year or something. We haven't had the game that long.”

  “Oh! I get it, like Christmas, or a birthday,” Mom said.

  The illagers, who had been watching the exchange, looked very confused. “What’s a Christmas?” “What’s a birthday?” “What’s a Minecraft?” They kept muttering amongst themselves, very confused, like the family was speaking a different language.

  “Can we please keep moving?” Dad asked. “We can talk while we walk.” They started moving again, and Dad looked at Jack. “So what do these updates do?”

  Jack shrugged. “They add new mobs and stuff, and items like that copper and spyglass Mom was talking about.”

  “We never really paid attention to them,” Kate said, “since there wasn’t one during the time we played before we came in here.”

  “Because we just got the game not too long ago?” Dad asked. Jack and Kate nodded. “Is there anything we should be worried about?”

  “I don’t think so,” Jack said, “but I really don’t know.”

  “Can you tell us what you're talking about now?” Evoker Hudson asked.

  Dad nodded, and they told the illagers all about what it meant to be a respawner, and the world they had come from. The illagers asked a million and one questions the whole way. The Smith family was happy to answer them, although Mom still wouldn’t tell them what poop was. “It’s not proper to talk about it!”

  Chapter 2

  After a while, they arrived. The whole group stopped walking and looked up. The kingdom village was before them, the large buildings made of wood and end stone and beautiful purple blocks of Purpur. The huge castle towering behind it made the illagers stare. “Wow,” Delilah said, almost a whisper. “It’s beautiful! There is so much open space and no dark woods around making everything so gloomy!”

  “And look!” Judah said, pointing. “There are fields where we can grow things!”

  “What are those weird plants?” someone asked.

  “Those are chorus plants,” Mom said. “They make a yummy fruit that teleports you, but they fall apart like glass, so you have to be careful.”

  “Did ender people really live here? Along with the villagers?” Evoker Hudson asked.

  “That’s what it looks like,” Dad said. “We don’t know for sure though, since everyone is gone.”

  “Huh, maybe the ender people weren’t so bad after all.”

  “I wouldn’t put it past the old Great Gourd Gordon to lie to us this whole time,” Delilah said, shaking her head.

  The family took the illagers on a tour of the village and they all chose their favorite homes to live in. It was late and getting dark, so they ate some dinner and headed to bed. The next day, Mom snuck out early and the kids couldn’t find her anywhere.

  “Who’s going to make us breakfast?” Jack asked.

  Kate rolled her eyes. “Jack, you should be old enough to make your own breakfast. Especially in Minecraft.”

  “Yeah, but I can’t do it as good as Mom.”

  Dad snorted. “No one can cook as good as Mom. I could make you something, but I agree with Kate. You’re growing up and you should learn to be a little more independent.”

  Jack frowned. “Be more independent!? Who saved you all from certain doom in the mansion?”

  “What are you guys arguing about?” Delilah asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes. The illagers were coming out of the houses now and congregating in a small area in the village. The sound of tummies grumbling was so loud it sounded like an orchestra of hunger.

  “Come on Jack,” Dad said with a shake of his head, “I suppose I’ll help you. We should get some barbecue going for everyone.” Dad pulled on Jack’s arm, leading him over to a small house. The illagers followed behind. They passed several little tables that had been crafted, each with colorful candles on them. Jack stared at them curiously. He had never seen candles in these colors before and was sure those tables hadn’t been there the day before.

  A strange whistle shot through the air, and suddenly fireworks exploded in the sky above the small house. At once, everyone screamed, “SURPRISE!” as Jack jumped, startled. He looked down from the fireworks and turned to see that Dad, Kate and every single illager was holding a cake!

  Mom appeared on the top of the house wearing the elytra and jumped off, a cake in her hands, too.


  Jack smiled. He really had the sweetest mom ever. She swooped down and just as he was about to thank her for putting this little surprise together, she threw a piece of the cake she was holding right at him. It went SPLAT right onto Jack’s face, and he gasped, his mouth and eyes wide, cake smeared everywhere. “What!? What is going on!?”

  Mom laughed and pulled out a cake from her inventory, giving the whole thing to Jack. “Happy birthday!”

  “It’s my birthday?” Jack looked confused, and the cake smears covering his face only added to the look.

  “Well, I’m not exactly sure, but your birthday was getting close when we came into the game, so today we’re celebrating! We don’t have any presents for you, but I woke everyone up after you went to bed last night and gave them a cake with strict instructions not to eat it. You always thought food fights were funny in movies, so today, you get to have your very own!”

  “FOOD FIGHT!” Dad yelled, holding his cake in one hand, high in their air.

  “FOOD FIGHT!” Kate yelled.

  “FOOD FIGHT!” The illagers yelled.

  Jack was totally shocked. Mom always threw amazing birthday parties, with awesome decorations and fun themes, but he never ever EVER thought she would allow him to actually have a food fight. “Really?” he asked, a twinkle in his eye.

  Mom nodded with a smile. “Since I can make infinite cake, I thought it would be fun.” She motioned to one of the tables, which Jack saw was piled high in cakes.

  Jack threw his arms around his mom and squeezed her tight. “Thanks Mom, you're the best!” With his arm still behind her back, he pulled out a slice of cake and smooshed it onto her head.

  Mom squealed and the food fight was on! She jumped back and threw a piece of cake at Jack, who nimbly dodged out of the way. The cake splatted to the ground at Dad’s feet, who was stepping forward to throw at Jack, but stepped into the cake and slipped. His legs flew straight out in front of him and he landed hard, right on his butt, right on top of the cake, with a wet squish. “Oww,” he groaned, rubbing his rear. His hand came away covered in frosting, and he flicked it at Mom.

  The illagers wasted no time, and began throwing slices of cake at each other, Delilah splorping one right into Evoker Hudson’s face. He growled, then grinned, and licked some of the frosting off with his finger before wiping it on Delilah. She giggled and before she could throw another piece, Evoker Hudson summoned a couple vexes, giving them each pieces of cake, and they flew around, throwing them strategically. “That’s cheating!” Delilah shouted.

  Bruce came wandering around the corner to see what all the commotion was about. As if every dream he’d ever had came true, cake was flying through the sky. It was beautiful. He might have even shed a tear of joy, as he started leaping after the sweet dessert. As cake flew, Bruce leapt in the air, intercepting as many pieces as he could, with his mouth of course, gobbling them up.

  At first, he darted gracefully, running and jumping and flipping towards the tasty treats as if he were dancing. But as the cake filled his tummy, his jumps and flips became short and sluggish, and before long he couldn’t jump at all. Instead, he walked- crawled, really- and licked up all the cake he could find on the floor, the walls, the legs of illagers. Soon, his belly drug on the ground and he flopped over, unable to move at all. His whole torso was stretched out, like a cat face shoved on a black and white balloon, finished with a tail. So he just laid on the ground with his mouth open, hoping for more cake to fall into it.

  Jack only used his power a little, to dodge slices of cake here and there, and to make sure where he threw the cake, it would land on someone. The funniest part was when Mom was targeted by Kate, Dad used his shout. Kate and everyone else in the area turned and instead of throwing their cake at the person they meant to, they threw it at Dad!

  Dad was hit by so many slices of cake that it covered every single part of him. By the end, he came out of it looking like a cake golem.

  “Why are you covered in the least amount of cake?” Dad asked, eyeing Jack.

  “Clearly, I’m just way better at food fights than you!” Jack laughed and wiped a handful of cake off his dad. He thought about his powers. “But actually, well... I figured out my powers.”

  Kate’s eyes lit up. “What is it?!”

  “I can dodge just about anything and aim really well. But not like, naturally, I have to activate it. Plus...”

  “That’s SO cool!” Kate said, bits of cake and frosting coming off her as she jumped up and down. “And perfect for you!”

  “Plus...” Jack continued. “I have this like... pull. To find treasure. Or whatever I really need at the time.”

  Kate screeched. “WHAT?! That’s amazing!”

  “Well, it eats my food when I use it.”

  “Excuse me?” Mom said. “It takes your food without your permission?”

  “I mean, kind of. But it’s worth it! It’s what helped me find you guys and save you from the Great Gordon guy.”

  Dad put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, son. Those powers are going to be super helpful.”

  Mom frowned. “I suppose they will be. But I’m NOT happy about it taking your food.”

  “Either way,” Jack said, “this is the best birthday party ever!” And he meant it. He couldn’t wipe the grin- or the cake- off his face.

  Chapter 3

  Dad found a broken fountain in the middle of town. It was crumbled apart and full of debris, but there was still water in the bottom, and it gave him an idea. He collected the water into buckets, then dug out all the stone blocks and much deeper into the dirt. At least 5 or 6 blocks down. Then he dug all around in a wide rectangle. Using stone, he crafted a bunch of blocks and laid them all across the bottom, and along the sides.

  When he was done, he stood outside and looked down with a smile. “Jack is going to love this swimming pool!” He dumped the water from the buckets in, but it wasn’t enough, so he collected water from the little stream that ran through the back of the village, bringing it over and filling the pool. Soon enough he was done and wiped his hands together. He couldn’t wait to show Jack his surprise.

  “BEST PARTY EVER!” Jack yelled for the tenth time as he cannonballed into the blue water. He was thoroughly impressed with Dad’s pool- as were all the illagers- and they played and splashed and swam for hours, coming out of the pool squeaky clean and cake free.

  The birthday party ended with the family teaching the illagers how to sing Happy Birthday. They caught onto the song really well, until at the end Kate started singing gibberish about “cha cha cha, ooh la la, peperoni pizza!” Mom gave her ‘The Look,’ but Kate just grinned.

  Everyone had so much fun and the illagers swore they were going to have birthday parties from that point on, but of course they would be spawnday parties. While they cleaned up the mess, everyone had to avoid Bruce, who was in too much of a food coma to move from the middle of the road.

  “Darn cat!” Dad said as he tripped over him for the tenth time.

  Bruce just burped.

  Before everyone went off to bed, Evoker Hudson, Delilah and Judah pulled aside Mom and Dad. “Could we... ask you for your help? You’ve already done so much for us, and we know you have things you have to do but...” He danced around the question.

  “What is it you want?” Dad asked bluntly.

  “Well, we wanted to come to a village and live like villagers, but... we don’t know how!” Delilah said.

  Judah nodded. “We can fight and stop any invaders, but with normal villager stuff, well, we don’t really know how to do any of that. And this place needs a lot of fixing up, and we don’t know how to build things, either.”

  Mom grinned. It was becoming a theme now, to help villagers with their gardens and buildings and supplies. “Oh, we can certainly help with that. We are really good at it!”

  The next day they divided up into teams and set about turning the abandoned village into a living, working one again. Mom worked setting up garde
ns. Dad built furnaces and gave them some barbecue tips (though not many, because he didn’t want to give up all of his secrets.) Kate went out and rounded up animals while Jack stayed back to build pens.

  Bruce was finally feeling better, and walking around with Jack, but his tummy was grumbling the whole time. “Ya darn cat!” Jack said. “I’m not going to lie. You deserve it. You shouldn’t be such a glutton! I think you somehow ate more cake than we threw yesterday. I’ve never seen your belly that big!” Bruce looked at Jack, his tummy making a terrible noise. “Oh no,” Jack said and immediately ran and hid behind the closest house.

  That proved to be a good idea, because Bruce started shaking. He looked scared for a split second before his eyes crossed and he yowled as he let out the loudest fart ever. A green cloud shot out over a patch of chorus plants, and they all exploded, tumbling down to the ground. Bruce turned around, startled by the sound of his own gas, and got a face full of it. His eyes crossed again, and he fainted, all four legs straight up in the air.

  “Bruce!” Jack yelled. He wanted to go out and check on him, but didn’t want to risk running into the cloud. “It’s okay, Bruce! You’re going to be fine!” he yelled from the safety of the house. Bruce suddenly poofed away, and Jack gasped. “Bruuuce!”

  Bruce Lee the Scar-Faced Ninja Attack Kitty From Japan (Who Smells Like Poop) came hopping out of their house, having respawned. He was feeling much better and rubbed up against Jack’s leg, startling him so much he jumped two blocks high. “Darn cat!”

  “Back to work, Jack!” Mom said as she passed him with an armload of vegetables on her way back to the garden. Mom was excited to help build another garden. Mom was always excited to do anything that had to do with a garden. This time she built some beehives for it and let the mutant bees out. She had planted flowers strategically so the bees would fly over the garden to get the delicious nectar. She watched with a smile as her plan worked right in front of her eyes. The bees flew back to their hives, over the garden, and as the pollen fell from their feet, at once the vegetables she had planted grew.